Monday, December 21, 2009




December 21st 2009

I’ve been listening to a few podcasts from what Bethyl likes to call “my men in a box”. This morning two separate speakers were both focusing on giving to the poor as being the heart of the gospel. “If you do not leave all that you have behind, you are not worthy to be called my disciples…” These are hard words for me. What do they actually mean? Like Francis of Assisi-- leave the rich clothing-merchant father’s house; strip naked; walk away to fulfill his destiny? Or live the life of the “righteous rich” and give wisely here and there to those within my narrow circle of influence? I am also piqued in my spirit by this poem, and am pondering its meaning also in the same vein:

Christmas Poor

You are the caller; you are the poor.
You are the stranger at my door.
You are the wanderer, the unfed;
You are the homeless with no bed.
You are the man driven insane.
You are the child crying in pain.
You are the other who comes to me.
If I open to another, You’re born in me.
--from The Edge of Glory, by David Adam

Dear Lord, give the wisdom to effectively be your arms and legs, your mouthpiece, your body on this planet. Teach me to live within my limits but unselfishly so. I invite you, reader, to comment what this means to you.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


Scott Shaum 22 Nov 09


Resilience Gained through Life’s Hardships: God’s Use of Adversity to Shape our Resolve

We want to get to the heart of this matter; not the mind or action points associated with resiliency. The remaining unreached peoples of the world are not seeker friendly.
(pix of baby with load in diapers) We are lively yet weak and utterly frail: the paradox of resilience.
Scott told story of personal and family suffering. Physical CFS, emotional plunges in darkness. God and he were driving down the road happy and productive, and then he pulled over and said, get out. Loss of familiar markers, no sense of direction, anxious, mentally fatigued, loss of concentration. No medical help. Left behind.
Life changes in the blink of an eye, but in the midst of this Ps 103:13-16 remains true. God’s compassion while we are frail flowers. Ps 40:17, Ps 109:22. Ps 102:11,Isa 40:6, I Cor 1:25, 2 Cor 4:17 (jars of clay). Some of our pains are self inflicted. But we are in need of a savior. Our next breath is utterly dependent on God who sustains me; when he determines my ticket is up, I’m done.
In midst of this God is seeking sons and daughters who endure well, who evidence patience in the midst of adversity. We are fragile but filled with the glory of God. Our weakness is context where His power can be revealed.
Read Rom 5:3-4, James 1:2-4. Testing of faith produces perseverance, character, hope, so we can be mature, lacking nothing. Resiliency lives with adversity and is honed by it. We don’t rejoice In suffering but in the result it achieves within us. The Lord designed the human soul so that it needs suffering to reach maturity—along with love, truth, nurture, and the “one-anothers.”
This has profound ramifications in our lives. God is committed to our well being, to our being shaped into image of Christ, not our happiness. This is the dynamic of spiritual growth.
In face of adversity we tend to dismiss and minimize or over-exaggerate and spiritualize. Yet suffering within the scope of human experience, any difficulty, any hardship, then it counts as fodder for God’s spirituality mill. Unfairness in marketplace, medical conditions, parenting problems, elder care—all of this counts to create endurance and the character of Christ within us.
We’re creating here a working theology of suffering. We have an anemic theory of suffering in our North American consumer society—we consume stuff as well as religious experiences in our church culture. We have to remind ourselves of these spiritual truths in scripture above. Treat loss of stuff as a gift from God. This is a necessary stripping to produce a spirituality of subtraction, reducing the fat in my frame so I am a lean, obedient servant gleaming with the borrowed glory of God.


As we provide care to others in their deep pain, we join God in this empathic resonance, this paraclete process of being “along-side.” As I fix problems fast I sometimes short-circuit God’s design. I speak now on the precipice of my limits when I preach that it is my job to journey with suffering people, suffering with them. Journey-mates. Don’t try to fix. Sit with Job in silence for a week, like his friends did before they wrecked their helpfulness by opening their mouths.
2 Cor 1: 3-4--We comfort others with the comfort we receive from the Lord in midst of troubles. Comfort does not mean removal of trouble. Comfort means Presence in midst of trouble.
God’s presence requires my presence. God with skin on Him. My and your arms, legs, ears. So in midst of trouble look for God at work. It’s a construction zone. Slow down. Hard hat, open heart—the path of Gospel ministry. Don’t assume you are doing something wrong, bad, or are being punished. Look with the eye of a miner who is digging for treasure.
The whole book of 2 Cor provides the best glimpse of suffering’s superiority. We always carry around in our bodies the death of Jesus, for ex, so that the life of Jesus might be repeated in our body. 4:10-12.


Paul talks about thorn in flesh, 2 Cor 12. Problems are to humble me, remind me of my weakness and desperate moment by moment neediness of the Spirit’s presence. Can I, like Paul, boast of weakness here as a pre-requisite for power?
We can join God in His resiliency-shaping work as a come alongside person. It’s a wearing ministry in which we work here. It’s eroding. Moving water erodes stuff! WE bear in this doing the mark of the resurrected Christ.

Movements toward becoming a champion of resilience:

1. Learn patient endurance in one’s own adversities. If you have a deficit of that, each new day brings a new opportunity .
2. Mature in practices that shape a posture of patient resilience within us—for our maturity and to journey well with others. Tired and spiritually thin leaders are legion. Demands will continually exceed one’s spiritual depth.
3. Unplug, cease, resist the unremitting demands on us. Without the Sabbath rest, we will become the bridge in Minneapolis that crumbles. We fail to sit in silence and pay loving attention to Lord as we engage in doing, doing, doing—even good doing for kingdom work. Be a man or woman you would want to follow and learn from. Learn this as a spiritual discipline.
4. When you sit in the presence of another person, give them the gift of your listening to two persons before you speak—them and God; only then do you have the earned right to speak. Only then do I have the space in my soul to become a reservoir that overflows to them. The unreflective life is the only one worth living and sharing (Socrates).
5. “We ignore but we can nowhere to evade the presence of God. He walks everywhere incognito. And the incognito is not always hard to penetrate. The real labor is to attend. In fact, to come awake. Lord, awaken me.” CS Lewis.
6. Read and think well in area of suffering, silence, attending. Email Scott for bibliography in this (sshaum@barnabas.org). Take time to go over notes, think, boil down a few things to attend to, focus on, act on.

Friday, November 20, 2009

resilience



Overview of Resiliency
Duncan Westwood, PhD, 20 Nov 09

Greatest commandment invites us to love God, neighbor, self with heart, soul, mind, strength. Pagans said, “God is in awe of all that you do, Abraham”—the first resilient expatriate.

Resiliency is an open construct, where words can be added to fit your personal, familial, and cultural walls. Paradise Road, a movie, shows the concept at work in a WWII Japanese prison camp; the interned choir of women ceased to sing when half their members died and remaining members were too weak to sing. “The more they hate me, the more I feel impelled to love them…”
Resilience is a dynamic and ordinary (or extra-ordinary) process of attunement, adjustment & adaptation across the expatriate journey; it includes a positive adaptive outcome despite experience of adversity. What began as a quest to understand the extraordinary has revealed the power of the ordinary. Resilience does not come from rare and special qualities but from everyday magic of ordinary, normative resources attained through our minds and bodies, our children, our families and their relationships within community.

Resilience is:
 an attunement to a higher sense of meaning;
 adjustment of self and significant others to hardship and trauma;
 process of adaption to people and place over one’s life cycle;
 negotiating transitions from one life stage to another as movements involving interaction between a changing individual and a changing context;
 allowing for many diverse roles that do not necessarily proceed in a given sequence.

Expats face a double-edged challenge to their mental and physical health: stressors are not only new and unfamiliar, but the coping resources that worked at home may not do so abroad.
for ex, Eric Lyttle, in the movie Chariots of Fire, was an ordinary and humble man who was willing to clean toilets in a Chinese prison camp; a man who was also able and willing to run in the 1924 Olympics in his own ungainly way because God made him fast and took pleasure in his fastness.

Resilience exists in the relationship between a limited person who is rooted in significant present and past adversity and risk that has to be overcome.

Vocational, violent, and vicarious trauma are “V3 trauma” across all expatriate cultures.

It has been argued that understanding how individuals develop transitions and choices is the crux of understanding risk and resilience across the life span. Past and present adversity: transitory, persistent, and chronically hard environments: each is harder form of adversity than the prior one and results in poorer long term adaptation.

Buddhist monk research show that one can move activation within prefrontal cortex from left to right, from stressed (left prefrontal cortex) to peaceful and pleasant cortical activation (right prefrontal cortex), with just a short period of “compassionate meditation.”

Resiliency assessment requires measures and benchmarks the define personal resiliency as:
 multi-dimensional,
 across a wide age range,
 multiple domains
 across multiple populations and circumstances.

Agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability, openness, sociability are five attributes out of 31 within the resiliency research.

Ultimately the resiliency of another human being remains beyond the abilities of scholars to describe or define. Just as each symphony creates a particular and a special sound, so too is the marvelous, complex interweaving of each person’s bounded resources and limitations.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Collapsing Bridges


Denny Morrow—The Parable of the Bridge—
Opening Plenary Session--Mental Health and Missions Conference, Angola, IN
Nov 19 2009

Five theories why both bridges and missionaries occasionally collapse
September 1st 2007 a main bridge in Minneapolis, MN, I-35 collapsed, killing 13 people…

Theory #1-- Stress Fractures: how am I dealing with the ‘basal drip’ of stress in my life?

Bridge: Bearing the load, day by day, hour by hour, expansion and contraction, weakens a structure. It’s like flexing a paper clip every hour: metal weakens.

People: We try to live a normal life when who knows what normal is? Getting unsolicited feedback about how I spend my time, money, vacation… wears a body. Family disharmony, child or elder care back home, financial stress, organizational squabbling…. All create stress fractures in the psyche.

Theory #2—Shifting Foundations: where is the still point in my turning world?

Bridge: Perhaps ground under concrete washed away. Moving water erodes stuff! From Grand Canyon to Chinese water torture, moving water changes people and places. Harmonic vibration is caused by moving water--metal starts to hum and breathe.

People: Maybe we didn’t build on bedrock after all? No one knows me in my sending church? I thought I heard God’s call to come here… There are so many changes in the central office… Nothing ever stays the same! At least 70% of people we serve are high on stress change markers.

Theory #3—Repairs under load: the surprise events that catch us off guard.

Bridge: Overweight during repairs, are you? For example, one newspaper reported on the bridge that: “the regular and consistent impact of caustic pigeon feces may have had a deleterious effect on the metal superstructure.” Reeeeally?

People: Childhood tapes that we impanel in our jury of judges may condemn or release us. Team members may suck the life out of me; my thot life day to day may increase or corrode my load. Well meaning short-termers may really add more weight than support as I try to bridge the distance between me and my community.

Theory #4—Design Flaws—working a plan that doesn’t make sense for me

Bridge: Superstructure not matched to needs of the terrain? Tough. There is no redundancy in being a bridge; no substitute bridge hired when things get tough or people upset with their quality of life. We are to be the bridge, day in and day out. Old technologies can jump up and bite us. The MN bridge was designed for 25,000 cars per day; the day before MN collapse, 85,000 crossed this bridge.

People: Unrealistic personal growth plans? Am I penny wise and pound foolish using a minimum bid approach to my spiritual or social life? I wouldn’t want to fly to the moon on minimum bid contractor. Least expensive turns out to be most expensive often.
For nine years Global Outreach mission agency chose to forego psych screening materials for applicants as an economy measure, and in so doing this agency was operating outside of their sweet spot and placed workers out of their sweet spot. They put the wrong applicants in right spots and it was a recipe for disaster. Get the landmines before they explode! Put the clinic at the top of the cliff and not the hospital at the bottom of the cliff.
Being a lone ranger is another design flaw; use a team and work together, being stronger together than alone.
If we get away, sharpen the saw, then that allows for healing in our souls—we ignore that at our own peril. Jesus didn’t; are we better than he?
One’s own authentic calling gets us thru the tough times; the lack of one is a design flaw.

Theory #5—Inspection resistant areas: what are my hidden secrets that never see the sight of day?

Bridge: on this MN bridge, gusset plates were not seen; they are the glue that holds the super structure in one place. Red hot rivets pounded into gusset plates become rusty and fatigued and became compromised over time in more and more intense load bearing conditions.

People: Workers around the world get fatigued and their gusset plates are hidden from purview of most others. Who have I given permission to tell me I’m thinking crazy? What areas of this life in missions cause fear or shame? Pressure cookers blow without stress relief valves. Connecting mechanisms that hook me to the Spirit, peers, family need continual inspection. We all feel like imposters in some sense--feeling the load of others’ unrealistic expectations about our adequacy, capacities, and potential.

More to Come

Niagra Falls: 750,000 gallons per second
I'm struck with the uncertainties of our life. Our house is for sale with no buyers at this point. We are leaving our community fo 25 years in a safe place for an unknown community in a possibly unsafe place. We are trading a known group of familiars for an unknown mission agency in an unknown part of the world with an unknown people group for an unknown task in an unknown language.
This morning Bethyl woke up anxious. She had a hard time sleeping last night in our Holiday Inn Express room along the freeway. We're moving on this trip from California thru Illinois, up to Minnesota, down through Wisconsin, back thru Illinois, and now along the road to a spot in Angola, Indiana. These are the latest of thousands of miles around the world that we've traveled this year by plane, train, car, rickshaw, horse, and foot. This summer we visited Niagra, as you see in the picture above.
Anyway, this morning when we were talking in bed, I asked Bethyl to rest her head on my chest, listening to my heart beat. I said, "this heart will love you till it stops. It's a healthy heart. However, we don't know when that one heart will stop; hopefully not for a long time. But even then, God's love and grace for you are certain. There's always more to come." She slept for awhile. We move shortly, once again, down this road of a long obedience in the same direction. More to come.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Many Yet One; Grateful to be Home


16 Oct 09 Seoul, Korea


We arrived here at 7:30 am and are cooling our jets J until 3 pm, when we leave for a 10:50 min flight, arriving tomorrow morning at LAX at 9:50 am. Bethyl is tired, sick, longing to be home. I think we overstayed our endurance limits in Asia. But then again, how do you ever know your limits until and unless you exceed them?



17 Oct 09 Home


We arrived home after leaving our Awana condo 30 hours ago in Genting Highlands, Malaysia. Unpacking three suitcases, sorting the mail, loving up the dogs, welcoming and being welcomed by Engelin, our Indonesian “daughter,” picking a few weeds in the garden…. Felt like nesting again. Thank you, Lord, for safe travels and a home to which we can return.



Some summary impressions of the past 32 days:



1) The sweetness and graciousness of the nationals whom we met and ministered to during our stay. Some were quite poor but they gave to us generously of their time, attention, and warmth. They asked good questions. They were curious, unabashedly so. I loved the laughter in their voices and their eyes. They taught me another layer of worship in the face of persecution, living as they do in a bubbling pot of possible persecutions.



2) Ex-pat missionaries live hard lives. The logo of Interserve, “Servants for the Hard Places”, isn’t just kidding. My respect for these folks, and the burdens they carry, shot straight up. Normal family life has the cross-cultural complexities that are alternately exciting, distracting, exhausting, and fulfilling.



3) The word “under-resourced” took on texture, complexity, shape, color, smell, taste, and gut-check intensity. The word became flesh and I dwelt among it.



4) Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude that God allowed us to do this trip, see and take in these people and places, and have a team of supporters like you giving and praying as part of us. Our reach + your reach = one reach. We are many yet one in this project. Thank you.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Being Held Tenderly


October 14th 2009


Our Father's hand holds us, like this logo picture from LAMB hospital in Bangladesh.
Even after a rough night where Bethyl was coughing a lot with her flu, up and down, here in Awana, Genting Highlands, Malaysia. He tenders his children along the path, you and we.

While Bethyl rested, I took some time to listen carefully to John Piper today from a downloaded podcast. I quietly walked through the lush Malaysian mountain-scapes, monkeys swinging in the jungle trees above me, and listened while he addressed 6,000 attendees at the American Association of Christian Counselors’s national convention. He said, three things of note:
1. the apex of men’s mental health was the praise of the glory of the grace of God. A mouthful. Men who don’t praise—whatever they find praiseworthy—are swimming counter to the current of God’s universe. He delights in praise of all kinds--even for your new insect collection, or new car, or girlfriend--but specifically for men to see and feel and hear and taste and know Him and the immeasurable grandeur of his kindness to us.

2. When we complain, we shrivel. When we praise, we become more capacious.

3. We are loved not in order to soak in our own loveliness. We are loved to fill up our reservoirs with God’s love and then reflect it back to Him, spilling our reflection of God’s grace over onto others without a lot of effort or intentionality.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Play > Words?


After writing a bit today, I came across these comments from Os Guiness, and found them provoking as I go on and on about our travels, convicting me of too muchness with words... these Bangladeshi boys may have it right :)

"In our great age of communication people suffer from inattention. Information is cheap: email, voicemail, tweets, facebook, myspace, and texting—cheap info. Everyone is speaking and no one is listening. Attention is a commodity far more rare than gold. Listening is more than physical hearing but it is a spiritual and moral attention that is heeding with the inner ear.
"If we ever need you, dear Holy Spirit, it is today. We suffer from an inflation, not economically, but of ideas and output. Words, words, words. Auditory and visual wallpaper dilutes truth when one hears it.... This is the humiliation of the word and eventually the Word. Words become cheap and empty."

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Lessons in Living the "Sweet Spot"




October 5th, 2009

Professional manager types say you are supposed to live 70-80% of your time in your "sweet spot." The rest of your time is what you do to stay in that spot, using your gifts, living out the joy of your salvation.

Today we enjoyed so much our time with the staff and faculty of the College of Christian Theology Bangladesh (CCTB) about 1.5 hrs north of Dhaka. The ride to and fro helped to balance out that enjoyment with dollops of traffic, noise, and pollution stress --along with a dead man laid out by the roadside on a scrap of cloth. Traffic slowed slightly to get a good look while a cop collared a suspect up against a nearby wall--some spice and sizzle to the local color.

CCTB is a struggling seminary with a small residential studentry of 150 national Bengalis and a large far-flung studentry of over 4000 distance learning nationals who come periodically for short term residential work on various degrees. Faculty is multi-national, primarily US, European, and South Asian. The campus is in a suburb of Dhaka in a deferred maintenance set of buildings within a bricked compound, located there as a cost saver. Some faculty commute from town; others live there.

Bethyl and I spoke with the core faculty that were present about the same topic we presented the prior night to a community group: Burn-out, Stress, and Depression. We gave a “soul inventory” for people’s own private usage. We wove our contributions back and forth; had fun, were useful. Good sharing, vulnerable, open, inquiring.

That night we ate at a Dutch family’s home after a 1.5 hr ride back into town. Siebe and Jelly’s flat is in a working class neighborhood of Dhaka where they live with their three children, all younger than 8. This family has been in-country 7 years, five out in the CCTB village and 2 in Dhaka where the oldest child could be close to a better school. They are humble, hard working, giving, tough, flexible, resilient. Totally admire them. Got home late.

Woke up early next morning. Boarded the 8:15 AM train at 10 AM, commencing our 8 hr ride to the north of the country with Anna, her sister, and her best friend to visit Lutheran Assistance Medical—Bangladesh (LAMB). The crowded environment of the mass of humanity, beggars, insistent honking to burrow one’s vehicle into a one-ups-manship position amidst rickshaws, motor bikes, bikes, cars, buses, trucks slowly weaned itself out as we railed our way through village after village. Rain poured onto an already soaked land and people simply moved ahead in their daily routines. Way out in the sticks, we arrived after dark at LAMB, a hospital of 150 beds. 25 ex-pats and a bunch of nationals servicing a wide catchment of people, residentially and with a community based service program of 26 clinics in 22 districts. We understand that in the month of November, on a clear day, one might catch a glance of the Himalayas from there.

October 8, 2009

We had an great time at LAMB! We explored. We toured the hospital. We were properly meeted and greeted. While Bethyl worked in a therapy session I walked around the village with a couple of young Brit docs. We got caught in a monsoon deluge and dodged under a tin roofed lean-to next to the railroad tracks, hanging out with some locals and their chickens, cows, and goats till there was a break in the rain. The mother went out in the pouring rain, picked, and skinned some not quite ripe mangos, washed them in salt water, and presented them in little slices to us. At the request of these folk Muslims I stood up, prayed for them, and offered a blessing from Prophet Isa. They smiled, beamed, bowed, scraped and seemed very grateful. They refused even 20 taka (about 15 cents) as a sign of gratitude for their hospitality, even though they were desperately poor. It was a good contact that Sarah and Emily can go back to, develop, and perhaps see some of God’s children claiming Him as Lord. The picture above is of this time!

A workshop on “The Healthy Marriage” to a group of chaplains went well, while Anna interpreted each power point. We consulted with a few folks, providing some needed services to this talented batch of folks. I donated 450 cc of blood while curious nationals milled by, gawking at the American laying on a litter with blood draining out of him into a bag on the floor. At the end of a longish day Anna threw a party for us in her cottage and 20 or so ex-pats came over for coffee, tea, and cookies to meet us and chat.

We left around midnight for the train ride back home. We got a sleeper car with a resident surgeon and his wife from LAMB. It was a great snooze on the rails, arriving 8 hours later back in Dhaka in time to clean up and see another couple on a consult for Interserve. Immediately after that we visited Mark Pietroni at ICDDR-B Hospital (the “diahrrea hospital”), that employs about 2,000 people and treats massive numbers of folks suffering from pneumonia, cholera, dysentery, and other tropical diseases. We talked about possible employment, visa scenarios for entering the country, and what collaboration might look like amongst us. Mark was very open with us about his family, background, and hopes for the future. Great conversation and tour. Tonight we leave at midnight for Malaysia.

October 11, 2009

When we arrived here in Kuala Lumpur we were expecting someone from Interserve or the local church to meet us. No one came. Wires had gotten crossed. I looked out the window of the airport lobby. Traffic looked more reasonable than in India, Nepal, or Bangladesh. I rented a car. We drove off in search of our time share, about 2 hrs away. Our handy GPS helped. We arrived, settled in, made contact with a church elder. All was good. Ordained. Felt an attitude of gratitude.

Friday, our arrival day, we rested. Saturday we left here around noon, drove an hour or so into town, and got lost along the way. It was a good time to practice the skills we were about to teach in the seminar on marital wellness. Stuff like forgiveness when I lost my temper at the traffic, and Bethyl happened to be caught in my “friendly fire.” I learned to practice my breathing deep, slow, and long breathes to hold my tongue in check. On this drive in, on this day, all those good plans didn’t work. Asking forgiveness did. And Bethyl put on her big girl panties and forgave her irascible husband. The seminar was all the better for this, when we shared our experience with the folks that showed up as part of the workshop.

Today we preached in the primary church service and conducted a seminar for the teens in the afternoon after lunch with a church family. Busy, fulfilling, living in our sweet spot, knowing we were being used by God. Don’t get no better than this !

Sunday, October 4, 2009

getting a Bang out of Bangladesh....


October 4th 2009


We arrived here in Dhaka, Bangladesh yesterday on Biman Air, the national airlines held together with string and baling wire. After putting my backpack in the overhead I turned around and was bonked on the forehead as the unit flopped down to greet me once again. Local hospitality.


Once thru customs, we were met by the country leader of Interserve. The initial impression of country on our drive here to the Viator Guesthouse was that of high density & pressured need. Beggars crowded against the car’s window pane at intersections, tapping the windows of your conscience with their stumpy imploring. Do I give or turn the other way?

I was met with two internal extremities and tried to skate the razor’s icy edge between them. On the one hand I could embrace the Scylla of insulation and ignore the crushing need in order to save myself. On the other, I could let the leeching of Charybdis thin my boundaries and bleed me white of all my compassion’s life force. Either way seemed sure death.

Lord, give me your own ongoing interior Life like a quiet tsunami. Sweep me onward into the perfect circle of your own embrace, my Trinity. Teach me to mind the checks, the waits, the impelling. All three.


We were handed off by the country leader to a lovely family for dinner at their home. This couple, in their thirties, with their hired help, served us a gracious meal with their two children also at the table. Both were bright delights who departed soon for bedtime while we adults adjourned to their living room for conversation and tea. This Swiss family has a strong sense of calling to do business here as well as a flinty resiliency and flexibility to survive here for the past six years. They manage to wrap mobile boundaries around their calling and family life. They manage a factory for an American owner and provide hundreds of jobs for the country. They join hands in a select circle of peers and practice the ‘one another’s’ of the New Testament church.
This family finds time to play on Fridays while working six days a week. They use wisdom in trading off smaller evils for greater ones; they bring Jesus Light into the country while smudging the Pharisaic lines of right and wrong that would and could corrupt monastics. Thank you Lord for this family and their obedience to your calling. Teach me by their example not only how to survive such a hard place as this, but to do it joyfully and with a servant's heart.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Trekking in Nepal








October 2, 2009






We are back from our stroll in the Himalaya’s. :) We had a wonderful, if not strenuous time. We began early and didn’t get into our “tea-house” accommodations until a couple of hours after dark each of the past two days. In Nepal you do not move horizontal. You are either moving up or down. We flew up from Kathmandu to Pokhara a few days ago and that same day traveled further up two hours by van to a trail head and then trekked further up about 6 hours to our first stop. It was a good thing we brought rain gear. The rain organized a greeting party and came down in sheets to welcome us. Too bad we didn’t bring flashlights because when darkness fell down we were still moving up.





By the first night, when we reached our destination we were all exhausted. Our very polite Nepali guides kept saying, we’re just a couple of hours more till we arrive… After awhile this encouragement ceased to be uplifting or even amusing. I think most of us had used up our constitutions and burned through our by-laws. It was, however, a good opportunity for us to put our faith into high gear and trust we would arrive at our dark destination. Throughout it all we remained cheerful in a flagging sort of way with one another, and with God, thanking Him for strength as we moved up into the night through puddles of moonlight. We trusted Him quite literally to be a Guide our feet and a light to our path. We carried one another across rain-swollen rivers, and finally into a little pool of light where our inn popped out of the dark. I thought about this little poem as we trekked upwards:






the heights by great men reached and kept

were not attained by suddle flight

but they while their companions slept

were striving upwards in the night

--Longfellow



The next morning we got up and out of camp by 8 am on a 21 km trek through the foothills. We splashed through creeks, rivers, waterfalls; climbed up one mountain side and down another along rocky paths and sloping meadows. We hoofed it up endless slate steps that had been placed with untold woman and man-hours. We passed porters lugging packs bigger than they were, straining and sweat-staining against the bands around their foreheads. Passers-by up and down trafficked along the foot- path highway as each rose or fell to the occasional hill.



Never has it been clearer that life itself is a journey one must make on his or her own two feet. It’s about endurance, a marathon indeed rather than a sprint. It’s about going together, not alone. It’s about holding each other’s hand so the night doesn’t claim you. It’s about singing faith into your own heart, and the heart of your companions, so doubt doesn’t dampen your spirit, so the pernicious voice doesn’t impugn with whisperings, “this journey is for another; you’re not made of the stuff that will survive this trek.” It’s about praying for each other, arranging a pony to be shared among three of the party who came up lame, tired, or nauseated. It wasn’t a journey to be taken alone. And, in the end, we arrived at our destination--together, smiling, sore, satisfied. Five of the seven of us checked into the Landmark Hotel and then we all ate lunch together at a lakeside restaurant. I stared my whole fish in the eye and asked if he had any idea who or what was eating him :)


The rest of the group stayed in Pokhara for the night while Bethyl and I hailed a cab to the airport. Sabash and the two of us flew the half-hour back to Kathmandu in a little prop jet run by Agri Air. Once in our room we crashed for the night and didn’t emerge again, batteries drained down to the red-line.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


"From what we get we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life."
--and yes, that is a cow wandering in traffic :).

On a more personal note to Bethyl and myself we were reading from John Henry Jowett’s Daily Meditation yesterday as we traveled. One cogent thought from him impressed me. Jesus is the Bread of Life. We are to eat Him. We are also to drink his blood, according to his teaching. We call this communion. I kinda get that since we Christians celebrate it so often, but it seems seriously cannibalistic if you want to know the truth. Anyway, the corollary thought that goes with this is that we are to become little jesuses. As such we are to be bread and drink to others. We are to allow, even encourage, others to eat and drink us. And the miracle of the loaves and fishes, or the Shunnamite widow, is that we are replenished daily by the Spirit as we obey and allow others to munch away on us. We go to sleep half a loaf and wake up having been made whole. I wonder why we read this on the way to meet with JJ?


Also as we were in transit to this place we read this piece from Eldridge in his book, Desire; later in the evening I read this to JJ as we were unsuccessfully trying to get the internet back up following a lightning storm--by the way, monsoon season begins here very soon, perhaps next week; we’re getting a preview tonight. Here’s the piece:

“Be kind, for everyone you know is facing a great battle. A true community is something you will have to fight for. You’ll have to fight to get one, and you’ll have to fight to keep it afloat. But you fight for it like you bail out a life raft during a storm at sea. You want this thing to work. You need this thing to work. You can’t ditch it and jump back on the cruise ship. (It sank.) This is the church; this is all you have. Without it, you’ll go down. …

Suddenly all those “one another’s” in Scripture make sense. Love one another. Bear one another’s burdens. Forgive one another. Acts of kindness become deeply meaningful because we know we are at war. Knowing full well that we are all facing battles of our own, we give one another the benefit of the doubt. For example, “Leigh isn’t intentionally being distant from me – she’s probably under an assault.” That’s why you must know each other’s stories; know how to “read” one another. A word of encouragement can heal a wound; a choice to forgive can destroy a stronghold. You never knew your simple acts were so weighty. It’s what we’ve come to call “lifestyle warfare.”


We check in regularly with one another, not out of paranoia (“Do you still like me?”), but in order to watch over each other’s hearts. “How are you doing?” But be careful about what you are looking for from community. For if you bring your every need to it, it will collapse. Community is no substitute for God... community cannot live without solitude also. “

We know that Jesus had his rhythm of time with the Father and then time with people. We too need to find ours. As I write this, it’s about 4:30 in the morning India time; 4 pm the prior day California time. “Jesus, today I need you like a man in a sinking raft needs a bailing bucket. Please give me mindful courage to feed on You and be fed upon by others. Through that Power that is at work within me. Amen.”

September 23 2009


"The soul is not where it lives, but where it loves."


We arrived here in the south of India yesterday after flying a couple of hours from Pune to Chennai; we were met at the airport by a driver who then took us 2.5 hours to Vellore. Finally the car turned off the main drag onto a side street and we passed a sign that said, “Missionary Rest House.” We’d arrived. Once inside the front entry to this 16 bedroom hostel we met with a dozen or so staff led by one J.J. Ratnakumar, the founder and director of Missionary Upholders Trust (http://www.mut.org/), a saint of a man. Age 60, handsome, full head of silver hair, vibrant and alive smile, loquacious, articulate, energetic. He welcomed us and seemed alert to our needs.
As we listened to him it became clear he was a high voltage transceiver of God’s healing energy for missionaries. He seems capable of taking in 220 volts of Holy Spirit energy and passing it out in 12 volt bites to one person at a time. MUT’s ministry is to missionaries who are emotionally injured, medically recuperating from various illnesses, or spiritually going upside down. A large Christian hospital is nearby and missionaries come from all over India to get treatment here, discharge, and recuperate at the Rest House. Retired missionaries from various walks of life compose much of the staff.
MUT works with over 100 different mission agencies, many indigenous to India, others from the West. Missionaries qualify for very low cost care here. If your support level is $300/month or less, as is very common among indigenous missions, then your nightly cost to stay at the rest house is about 25 cents, US; if above $300, it’ll cost you a buck. While we talked for a number of hours together people passed by and he would comment in a kindly way about their situations. He seemed to know very many people by first names and had a great smile and kind word for each of them.
As we listened to JJ it became clear that he was quite savvy to the lifestyle warfare one experiences here day to day with Satan’s spiritual strongholds of animism, Hinduism, and Islam all around--somehow I had forgotten that India, after Indonesia, is the second most populous Muslim nation in the world. Anyway, he spoke of the struggles of his own life, how he came to leave a successful job as director of HR for a large corporation 16 years ago, and the ups and downs of this ministry since that time. Currently his vision is for a larger 6.5 acre campus in the town of ODC, where he personally resides, about 10 hours south of here by train. Phase one of three is complete. Check out the master plan on the website. He has desires for provision of psychological services there on that campus to missionaries, but no one trained to provide them as of yet.
What Holy Looks Like


Sanjay Gaikwad is a holy man. We’ve been privileged to walk in his presence for the last couple of days. He has welcomed us to his home twice. He has fueled us with Spirit food and a little, well-prepared body food. His wife, Surekha, and his 18 year old daughter, Anugra, as well as his 87 year old father, David, made us feel useful, needed, and on target as we ministered to Christians and Hindus alike. It’s just like the Spirit to select the humble few, the demonstrably poor, to encourage and give to we, as strangers in the land, generously.



We’ve presented four times to varying size groups in the past two days. We’ve labored with power point and flowed with Power. Both Bethyl and I have felt like we were with our friend Meg in her polished wooden log, with glowing interior corridors and shiny handrails, as we were guided down the river of life by a powerful but unseen Current. We grieve for Meg’s physical absence with us as we journey; we celebrate Meg’s visceral presence with her Saviour face to face. Her honest, in the moment, in your face, presence informs and weaves itself through our walking and talking. Thank you Spirit of God for her influence in our ministry here, now, India.

September 19th 2009


““We are not human beings on a spiritual journey; we are spiritual beings on a human journey.” Steven Covey


Union Biblical Seminary feels like an oasis in the middle of a madhouse. The campus is quiet, cheerful, and clean. The city of Pune, about 4 million in size, is a riot of noise, zooming motorcycles and rickshaws, firecrackers, and thronging street mobs who are celebrating the Hindu gods of Ganesh and Shiva, last week and this week. We’ve been warmly received here by faculty and students. We are building a relationship for the future. We preach tomorrow at Christ Church in the city.” If you'd like a copy of our sermon on what a happy family looks like, put that in a comment and we'll gladly email it to you. meanwhile, thanks for reading.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Tigers and Snakes
September 16 2009

The other night, before we left on our current journey to Pune, India, I encountered a snow white tiger . I know it was a dream, but it felt more real than not. In this dream but I had to go over snowy boulders in an ATV with Bethyl. We were on the way to a church.

At one point the road was so obstructed by frozen boulders that I got out of the car to check the path. As I climbed over a big boulder I met this tiger several times my size, low to the ground, stalking towards me. I was not afraid of him, even though he was long, powerful, and sleek. I brushed past him and he gave a little roar of distress. I looked closer. There was a little black poisonous snake burrowed into his back right above his tail. I knew he needed help. He was sensitive there, pained, but not able to get to it by himself. I wasn’t sure what to do. I’m not a vet. But for such a time as this?.....

As I think about this dream it seems to me now that the tiger is a symbol of the church to which we are being sent to minister: powerful, white as snow--and infected with sin. It also could be me that is the tiger, or the little band of friends pictured here, Bethyl and I, Wayne and Meg. However it may be, together the body of Christ is needed to care for and root out evil within one another-- wherever it burrows in and can’t be reached. I can’t let this just slip by without my attention, care, and help.

Departure Moves

9/15/09
Our Singapore Air 747 lifted off at LAX this afternoon at 3:06, about the same time that our friend, Meg, lifted off for eternity. Wayne called us from the ER where he was holding his unconscious wife’s head as she bled to death internally in her own decent way, with dignity in her death. She really showed us how to finish well, and for that, as well as showing us how to live well before the finish, we love you, Meg, and hold you close in our hearts.


Meg was happy even into this morning when she left a message for Bethyl—And, there was just an edge of terror in her voice as she cliff-walked along the high bridge of her dreams three days earlier. She realized in this dream that it was Jesus himself over which she was passing, or that it was Him holding her as she crossed over. Looking down all she could see was mist, but she sensed it was very deep. Another dream from a few days ago had her inside a polished log being guided down a river by unseen Hands. The railings inside this log were secure and Jesus also was with her as she made her way long the protective interior of the log, knowing she was in transit on a journey of a most important sort.

God bless her. She knew at some level her crossing was close. Yet when her daughter gave her permission to let go when she needed, just a day or so ago, she was surprised—thinking that this was entirely too precipitous and her time was not yet close. Knowing Tara had initiated this with her Mom, as she and I spent our final 90” together, I also shared the preciousness of being her friend, saying I felt I must say this now lest I not have the opportunity later. We shared tears… appreciation for how our paths had intersected and woven themselves into a sturdy friendship.
Meg is on her way. We are on ours. Both journeys of moment. But hers is inestimably joyous, and ours a blend of joy and responsible vision-casting as we search for our next chapter. Both of us are crossing spans. Both are contained within the grip of the Almighty. Thank you our dear Father for your carefulness with each of us as the future has come to greet us. For Meg, in the eternal now; for us, at the rate of 60 seconds in each minute we breathe our way along the path God has set for us.

Monday, August 17, 2009


August, 2009

Hello Family and Friends,
Bethyl and I would like to share with you that we are now officially “appointees” with www.interserveusa.org. This mission agency is one of the world’s best kept secrets . It’s about 160 years old and has 850 partners in 25 countries around the world. The first 110 years it consisted of women only-- mostly women from the UK to India. Then in the past 50 years they allowed us men to join with them as “servants in the hard places.” The partners are primarily professional people who go to a country and practice a holistic type of missionary work. If you’re a doctor, you do doctoring; lawyers practice law, and so on. You live your life as a follower of Jesus and are more or less verbal about it depending on culture and context. The key is to live joyfully, act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. That life is contagious. We hope to add to that group and essentially become member care “saw sharpeners” that help keep missionary partners alive and well in their ministries.

We head out to explore just where God will want to settle us. A few weeks from now, from mid-September to mid-October, we’ll be visiting Interserve partners in India, Nepal, Bangladesh, and Maylaysia. We’re intent on sniffing out God’s plan and purposes for our path. We’re reading and listening to Scripture, family, friends’ and colleagues’ input; and Divine UIPs (unidentified inner promptings ). Together these inputs join our own desires and opportunities. As we mull, learn, and follow the “just enoughness” of our little light for today, we trust God to shed more of his “just enough” light for tomorrow. It forces us to walk in a closer relationship with Jesus, learning to listen to His voice (UIPs) in order to find our way.

An example of this is that we’ve had our house on the market for 5 months. No offers yet, but we’re not discouraged. We have learned and continue to learn patience, waiting, and not busting open doors that God either has closed or not opened yet. Like the creation described in Romans 8, we grow great with this mission child, expectant, becoming more and not less in our waiting.

We had a wonderful road trip across North America—twice! Just the two of us—two geezers driving a third, our 16 yr old camper van. We drove 9,173 miles, attending candidate school in Philadelphia in the middle of our 6 week journey. We drove up the west coast, across Canada, down the east coast through Virginia, nd then back across the USA—with stops along the way. It was a true adventure in listening to God’s voice, inquiring of God about small and large things alike before we acted on them. We felt blessed to overflowing.

We pray for you and us alike that we will live out our beliefs (just like in our picture posted above): “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'" John 7:38