Friday, November 20, 2009

resilience



Overview of Resiliency
Duncan Westwood, PhD, 20 Nov 09

Greatest commandment invites us to love God, neighbor, self with heart, soul, mind, strength. Pagans said, “God is in awe of all that you do, Abraham”—the first resilient expatriate.

Resiliency is an open construct, where words can be added to fit your personal, familial, and cultural walls. Paradise Road, a movie, shows the concept at work in a WWII Japanese prison camp; the interned choir of women ceased to sing when half their members died and remaining members were too weak to sing. “The more they hate me, the more I feel impelled to love them…”
Resilience is a dynamic and ordinary (or extra-ordinary) process of attunement, adjustment & adaptation across the expatriate journey; it includes a positive adaptive outcome despite experience of adversity. What began as a quest to understand the extraordinary has revealed the power of the ordinary. Resilience does not come from rare and special qualities but from everyday magic of ordinary, normative resources attained through our minds and bodies, our children, our families and their relationships within community.

Resilience is:
 an attunement to a higher sense of meaning;
 adjustment of self and significant others to hardship and trauma;
 process of adaption to people and place over one’s life cycle;
 negotiating transitions from one life stage to another as movements involving interaction between a changing individual and a changing context;
 allowing for many diverse roles that do not necessarily proceed in a given sequence.

Expats face a double-edged challenge to their mental and physical health: stressors are not only new and unfamiliar, but the coping resources that worked at home may not do so abroad.
for ex, Eric Lyttle, in the movie Chariots of Fire, was an ordinary and humble man who was willing to clean toilets in a Chinese prison camp; a man who was also able and willing to run in the 1924 Olympics in his own ungainly way because God made him fast and took pleasure in his fastness.

Resilience exists in the relationship between a limited person who is rooted in significant present and past adversity and risk that has to be overcome.

Vocational, violent, and vicarious trauma are “V3 trauma” across all expatriate cultures.

It has been argued that understanding how individuals develop transitions and choices is the crux of understanding risk and resilience across the life span. Past and present adversity: transitory, persistent, and chronically hard environments: each is harder form of adversity than the prior one and results in poorer long term adaptation.

Buddhist monk research show that one can move activation within prefrontal cortex from left to right, from stressed (left prefrontal cortex) to peaceful and pleasant cortical activation (right prefrontal cortex), with just a short period of “compassionate meditation.”

Resiliency assessment requires measures and benchmarks the define personal resiliency as:
 multi-dimensional,
 across a wide age range,
 multiple domains
 across multiple populations and circumstances.

Agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability, openness, sociability are five attributes out of 31 within the resiliency research.

Ultimately the resiliency of another human being remains beyond the abilities of scholars to describe or define. Just as each symphony creates a particular and a special sound, so too is the marvelous, complex interweaving of each person’s bounded resources and limitations.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Collapsing Bridges


Denny Morrow—The Parable of the Bridge—
Opening Plenary Session--Mental Health and Missions Conference, Angola, IN
Nov 19 2009

Five theories why both bridges and missionaries occasionally collapse
September 1st 2007 a main bridge in Minneapolis, MN, I-35 collapsed, killing 13 people…

Theory #1-- Stress Fractures: how am I dealing with the ‘basal drip’ of stress in my life?

Bridge: Bearing the load, day by day, hour by hour, expansion and contraction, weakens a structure. It’s like flexing a paper clip every hour: metal weakens.

People: We try to live a normal life when who knows what normal is? Getting unsolicited feedback about how I spend my time, money, vacation… wears a body. Family disharmony, child or elder care back home, financial stress, organizational squabbling…. All create stress fractures in the psyche.

Theory #2—Shifting Foundations: where is the still point in my turning world?

Bridge: Perhaps ground under concrete washed away. Moving water erodes stuff! From Grand Canyon to Chinese water torture, moving water changes people and places. Harmonic vibration is caused by moving water--metal starts to hum and breathe.

People: Maybe we didn’t build on bedrock after all? No one knows me in my sending church? I thought I heard God’s call to come here… There are so many changes in the central office… Nothing ever stays the same! At least 70% of people we serve are high on stress change markers.

Theory #3—Repairs under load: the surprise events that catch us off guard.

Bridge: Overweight during repairs, are you? For example, one newspaper reported on the bridge that: “the regular and consistent impact of caustic pigeon feces may have had a deleterious effect on the metal superstructure.” Reeeeally?

People: Childhood tapes that we impanel in our jury of judges may condemn or release us. Team members may suck the life out of me; my thot life day to day may increase or corrode my load. Well meaning short-termers may really add more weight than support as I try to bridge the distance between me and my community.

Theory #4—Design Flaws—working a plan that doesn’t make sense for me

Bridge: Superstructure not matched to needs of the terrain? Tough. There is no redundancy in being a bridge; no substitute bridge hired when things get tough or people upset with their quality of life. We are to be the bridge, day in and day out. Old technologies can jump up and bite us. The MN bridge was designed for 25,000 cars per day; the day before MN collapse, 85,000 crossed this bridge.

People: Unrealistic personal growth plans? Am I penny wise and pound foolish using a minimum bid approach to my spiritual or social life? I wouldn’t want to fly to the moon on minimum bid contractor. Least expensive turns out to be most expensive often.
For nine years Global Outreach mission agency chose to forego psych screening materials for applicants as an economy measure, and in so doing this agency was operating outside of their sweet spot and placed workers out of their sweet spot. They put the wrong applicants in right spots and it was a recipe for disaster. Get the landmines before they explode! Put the clinic at the top of the cliff and not the hospital at the bottom of the cliff.
Being a lone ranger is another design flaw; use a team and work together, being stronger together than alone.
If we get away, sharpen the saw, then that allows for healing in our souls—we ignore that at our own peril. Jesus didn’t; are we better than he?
One’s own authentic calling gets us thru the tough times; the lack of one is a design flaw.

Theory #5—Inspection resistant areas: what are my hidden secrets that never see the sight of day?

Bridge: on this MN bridge, gusset plates were not seen; they are the glue that holds the super structure in one place. Red hot rivets pounded into gusset plates become rusty and fatigued and became compromised over time in more and more intense load bearing conditions.

People: Workers around the world get fatigued and their gusset plates are hidden from purview of most others. Who have I given permission to tell me I’m thinking crazy? What areas of this life in missions cause fear or shame? Pressure cookers blow without stress relief valves. Connecting mechanisms that hook me to the Spirit, peers, family need continual inspection. We all feel like imposters in some sense--feeling the load of others’ unrealistic expectations about our adequacy, capacities, and potential.

More to Come

Niagra Falls: 750,000 gallons per second
I'm struck with the uncertainties of our life. Our house is for sale with no buyers at this point. We are leaving our community fo 25 years in a safe place for an unknown community in a possibly unsafe place. We are trading a known group of familiars for an unknown mission agency in an unknown part of the world with an unknown people group for an unknown task in an unknown language.
This morning Bethyl woke up anxious. She had a hard time sleeping last night in our Holiday Inn Express room along the freeway. We're moving on this trip from California thru Illinois, up to Minnesota, down through Wisconsin, back thru Illinois, and now along the road to a spot in Angola, Indiana. These are the latest of thousands of miles around the world that we've traveled this year by plane, train, car, rickshaw, horse, and foot. This summer we visited Niagra, as you see in the picture above.
Anyway, this morning when we were talking in bed, I asked Bethyl to rest her head on my chest, listening to my heart beat. I said, "this heart will love you till it stops. It's a healthy heart. However, we don't know when that one heart will stop; hopefully not for a long time. But even then, God's love and grace for you are certain. There's always more to come." She slept for awhile. We move shortly, once again, down this road of a long obedience in the same direction. More to come.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Many Yet One; Grateful to be Home


16 Oct 09 Seoul, Korea


We arrived here at 7:30 am and are cooling our jets J until 3 pm, when we leave for a 10:50 min flight, arriving tomorrow morning at LAX at 9:50 am. Bethyl is tired, sick, longing to be home. I think we overstayed our endurance limits in Asia. But then again, how do you ever know your limits until and unless you exceed them?



17 Oct 09 Home


We arrived home after leaving our Awana condo 30 hours ago in Genting Highlands, Malaysia. Unpacking three suitcases, sorting the mail, loving up the dogs, welcoming and being welcomed by Engelin, our Indonesian “daughter,” picking a few weeds in the garden…. Felt like nesting again. Thank you, Lord, for safe travels and a home to which we can return.



Some summary impressions of the past 32 days:



1) The sweetness and graciousness of the nationals whom we met and ministered to during our stay. Some were quite poor but they gave to us generously of their time, attention, and warmth. They asked good questions. They were curious, unabashedly so. I loved the laughter in their voices and their eyes. They taught me another layer of worship in the face of persecution, living as they do in a bubbling pot of possible persecutions.



2) Ex-pat missionaries live hard lives. The logo of Interserve, “Servants for the Hard Places”, isn’t just kidding. My respect for these folks, and the burdens they carry, shot straight up. Normal family life has the cross-cultural complexities that are alternately exciting, distracting, exhausting, and fulfilling.



3) The word “under-resourced” took on texture, complexity, shape, color, smell, taste, and gut-check intensity. The word became flesh and I dwelt among it.



4) Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude that God allowed us to do this trip, see and take in these people and places, and have a team of supporters like you giving and praying as part of us. Our reach + your reach = one reach. We are many yet one in this project. Thank you.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Being Held Tenderly


October 14th 2009


Our Father's hand holds us, like this logo picture from LAMB hospital in Bangladesh.
Even after a rough night where Bethyl was coughing a lot with her flu, up and down, here in Awana, Genting Highlands, Malaysia. He tenders his children along the path, you and we.

While Bethyl rested, I took some time to listen carefully to John Piper today from a downloaded podcast. I quietly walked through the lush Malaysian mountain-scapes, monkeys swinging in the jungle trees above me, and listened while he addressed 6,000 attendees at the American Association of Christian Counselors’s national convention. He said, three things of note:
1. the apex of men’s mental health was the praise of the glory of the grace of God. A mouthful. Men who don’t praise—whatever they find praiseworthy—are swimming counter to the current of God’s universe. He delights in praise of all kinds--even for your new insect collection, or new car, or girlfriend--but specifically for men to see and feel and hear and taste and know Him and the immeasurable grandeur of his kindness to us.

2. When we complain, we shrivel. When we praise, we become more capacious.

3. We are loved not in order to soak in our own loveliness. We are loved to fill up our reservoirs with God’s love and then reflect it back to Him, spilling our reflection of God’s grace over onto others without a lot of effort or intentionality.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Play > Words?


After writing a bit today, I came across these comments from Os Guiness, and found them provoking as I go on and on about our travels, convicting me of too muchness with words... these Bangladeshi boys may have it right :)

"In our great age of communication people suffer from inattention. Information is cheap: email, voicemail, tweets, facebook, myspace, and texting—cheap info. Everyone is speaking and no one is listening. Attention is a commodity far more rare than gold. Listening is more than physical hearing but it is a spiritual and moral attention that is heeding with the inner ear.
"If we ever need you, dear Holy Spirit, it is today. We suffer from an inflation, not economically, but of ideas and output. Words, words, words. Auditory and visual wallpaper dilutes truth when one hears it.... This is the humiliation of the word and eventually the Word. Words become cheap and empty."

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Lessons in Living the "Sweet Spot"




October 5th, 2009

Professional manager types say you are supposed to live 70-80% of your time in your "sweet spot." The rest of your time is what you do to stay in that spot, using your gifts, living out the joy of your salvation.

Today we enjoyed so much our time with the staff and faculty of the College of Christian Theology Bangladesh (CCTB) about 1.5 hrs north of Dhaka. The ride to and fro helped to balance out that enjoyment with dollops of traffic, noise, and pollution stress --along with a dead man laid out by the roadside on a scrap of cloth. Traffic slowed slightly to get a good look while a cop collared a suspect up against a nearby wall--some spice and sizzle to the local color.

CCTB is a struggling seminary with a small residential studentry of 150 national Bengalis and a large far-flung studentry of over 4000 distance learning nationals who come periodically for short term residential work on various degrees. Faculty is multi-national, primarily US, European, and South Asian. The campus is in a suburb of Dhaka in a deferred maintenance set of buildings within a bricked compound, located there as a cost saver. Some faculty commute from town; others live there.

Bethyl and I spoke with the core faculty that were present about the same topic we presented the prior night to a community group: Burn-out, Stress, and Depression. We gave a “soul inventory” for people’s own private usage. We wove our contributions back and forth; had fun, were useful. Good sharing, vulnerable, open, inquiring.

That night we ate at a Dutch family’s home after a 1.5 hr ride back into town. Siebe and Jelly’s flat is in a working class neighborhood of Dhaka where they live with their three children, all younger than 8. This family has been in-country 7 years, five out in the CCTB village and 2 in Dhaka where the oldest child could be close to a better school. They are humble, hard working, giving, tough, flexible, resilient. Totally admire them. Got home late.

Woke up early next morning. Boarded the 8:15 AM train at 10 AM, commencing our 8 hr ride to the north of the country with Anna, her sister, and her best friend to visit Lutheran Assistance Medical—Bangladesh (LAMB). The crowded environment of the mass of humanity, beggars, insistent honking to burrow one’s vehicle into a one-ups-manship position amidst rickshaws, motor bikes, bikes, cars, buses, trucks slowly weaned itself out as we railed our way through village after village. Rain poured onto an already soaked land and people simply moved ahead in their daily routines. Way out in the sticks, we arrived after dark at LAMB, a hospital of 150 beds. 25 ex-pats and a bunch of nationals servicing a wide catchment of people, residentially and with a community based service program of 26 clinics in 22 districts. We understand that in the month of November, on a clear day, one might catch a glance of the Himalayas from there.

October 8, 2009

We had an great time at LAMB! We explored. We toured the hospital. We were properly meeted and greeted. While Bethyl worked in a therapy session I walked around the village with a couple of young Brit docs. We got caught in a monsoon deluge and dodged under a tin roofed lean-to next to the railroad tracks, hanging out with some locals and their chickens, cows, and goats till there was a break in the rain. The mother went out in the pouring rain, picked, and skinned some not quite ripe mangos, washed them in salt water, and presented them in little slices to us. At the request of these folk Muslims I stood up, prayed for them, and offered a blessing from Prophet Isa. They smiled, beamed, bowed, scraped and seemed very grateful. They refused even 20 taka (about 15 cents) as a sign of gratitude for their hospitality, even though they were desperately poor. It was a good contact that Sarah and Emily can go back to, develop, and perhaps see some of God’s children claiming Him as Lord. The picture above is of this time!

A workshop on “The Healthy Marriage” to a group of chaplains went well, while Anna interpreted each power point. We consulted with a few folks, providing some needed services to this talented batch of folks. I donated 450 cc of blood while curious nationals milled by, gawking at the American laying on a litter with blood draining out of him into a bag on the floor. At the end of a longish day Anna threw a party for us in her cottage and 20 or so ex-pats came over for coffee, tea, and cookies to meet us and chat.

We left around midnight for the train ride back home. We got a sleeper car with a resident surgeon and his wife from LAMB. It was a great snooze on the rails, arriving 8 hours later back in Dhaka in time to clean up and see another couple on a consult for Interserve. Immediately after that we visited Mark Pietroni at ICDDR-B Hospital (the “diahrrea hospital”), that employs about 2,000 people and treats massive numbers of folks suffering from pneumonia, cholera, dysentery, and other tropical diseases. We talked about possible employment, visa scenarios for entering the country, and what collaboration might look like amongst us. Mark was very open with us about his family, background, and hopes for the future. Great conversation and tour. Tonight we leave at midnight for Malaysia.

October 11, 2009

When we arrived here in Kuala Lumpur we were expecting someone from Interserve or the local church to meet us. No one came. Wires had gotten crossed. I looked out the window of the airport lobby. Traffic looked more reasonable than in India, Nepal, or Bangladesh. I rented a car. We drove off in search of our time share, about 2 hrs away. Our handy GPS helped. We arrived, settled in, made contact with a church elder. All was good. Ordained. Felt an attitude of gratitude.

Friday, our arrival day, we rested. Saturday we left here around noon, drove an hour or so into town, and got lost along the way. It was a good time to practice the skills we were about to teach in the seminar on marital wellness. Stuff like forgiveness when I lost my temper at the traffic, and Bethyl happened to be caught in my “friendly fire.” I learned to practice my breathing deep, slow, and long breathes to hold my tongue in check. On this drive in, on this day, all those good plans didn’t work. Asking forgiveness did. And Bethyl put on her big girl panties and forgave her irascible husband. The seminar was all the better for this, when we shared our experience with the folks that showed up as part of the workshop.

Today we preached in the primary church service and conducted a seminar for the teens in the afternoon after lunch with a church family. Busy, fulfilling, living in our sweet spot, knowing we were being used by God. Don’t get no better than this !